Are Fair and Equal the Same When It Comes to Gifting Children?

Sandy Adams Contributed by: Sandra Adams, CFP®

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I have had several client conversations in recent months about gifting to children. Parents are always concerned about making sure that they are being fair to all their children as they gift. As these discussions evolve, the definition of “fair” in the minds of parents often means “equal.” But do gifts to our children always need to be—and should they always be—equal?

Think back to when your children were younger. For some reason, many of us drive ourselves crazy making sure each of our children had the same number of pictures taken, received the same number of holiday gifts each year, got offered the same number of extra-curricular activities, got the same amount for each tooth from the Tooth Fairy...the list goes on and on. Why do we do this?

Our children are individuals, and their situations and needs are different. As our children reach adulthood and we are ready to gift them from our accumulated wealth (or plan to give to them in the future through inheritance), we should consider each of their situations and needs when gifting. For instance, providing more to a child who struggles to support their family on a modest income than one who is financially successful and has no children. Or to offer more to a child who has decided to give more of their time and career to help with a parent’s care versus one who is more focused on their career. There are families with special needs children that must devote more time and resources to that child than the others. Or simply taking into consideration the types of gifts given based on need, such as helping to pay off student loans for one versus contributing to the purchase of a home for another.

Getting out of the mindset that gifts to our children must be monetarily “equal” to be “fair” is one we should all consider. It allows us to give better thought and intent to the gifts we give to our children based on their actual needs, and it takes the stress off us to ensure that every cent is accounted for to monetarily make things equal. When the gifts are meaningful, there are few of your children that will be counting!

If you or someone you know are working on your gifting or legacy plan and have questions, please reach out. We are always happy to help Sandy.Adams@centerfinplan.com

Sandra Adams, CFP®, is a Partner and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ professional at Center for Financial Planning, Inc.® and holds a CeFT™ designation. She specializes in Elder Care Financial Planning and serves as a trusted source for national publications, including The Wall Street Journal, Research Magazine, and Journal of Financial Planning.

Opinions expressed in the attached article are those of the author and are not necessarily those of Raymond James. Securities offered through Raymond James Financial Services, Inc. Member FINRA/SIPC. Investment advisory services offered through Center for Financial Planning, Inc.® Center for Financial Planning, Inc.® is not a registered broker/dealer and is independent of Raymond James Financial Services.